Let me introduce myself. Well, let me make up a fictional character for myself. I'll call myself Rubina. Not sure why, but it's a pretty enough name. I'm 25, female and indian. Indian Muslim. This blog will (hopefully) make you laugh out loud at some of the experiences I've had.
I'll backtrack a little. In the asian community, as soon as you're about 22 or 23, you start getting "the talk". This constitutes of random asian aunties/close family/extended family/the shopkeeper, all asking the all intrusive question. "Beta, when are you getting married?"
I couldn't keep saying soon, soon. It got to the point where my poor despairing mother started setting up these almost blind dates for me. So far, I'm on guy number 8. I'll name them all with names, in alphabetical order, because it'll just make it so much easier for me.
Lets start with the guy who has just left. We'll call him Haroon.
Today is Christmas Day- aka the 25th December, aka Wednesday. I remember my mother vaguely asking me my days off this week, and then something about a guy called Haroon from London. I told her I had today off, and thought nothing of it. About 10:48 on Tuesday evening, my mum told me Haroon and his parents would be coming the next day. What the hell.
I literally knew nothing about this guy, I actually only just found out his name today, when he came.
So anyway, they come. Haroon, his mum and his sister. Normally the mum and sister just check me out, obviously hoping for a pretty young slim thing, and then smile at me. Lots. I normally smile back. Lots.
Todays meeting, even though the 8th, wasn't any less awkward than it was at the beginning. I wore my usual, a skirt, (modest enough for everyone concerned) and a jumper. On first impressions, Haroon was a religious guy and quite shy. I walked in with two teas, and a few samosas and spring rolls (hey, a girls gotta eat!). He said salams, and then I sat down. this is awkward. Mannnn, hes not saying anything.... think of something! anything!!!!
so....uhm whats your name?
-so cool Ruby, so cool
-Haroon
-cool....
I think he felt as awkward as me, and so he picked up his tea, and then...he slurped. dear readers..HE SLURPED! if there's one thing I can't abide, it's frigging slurping. I just glanced at him, a glance of warning, but it didnt stop. He then ate a samosa nervously. We still hadn't got past the initial niceties. I asked him how old he was... 30 he says. I've repeatedly told my mum that I don't want to meet anyone over the age of 28. Ageist? Maybe. But thats the way it works.
Then he dropped the killer line. Can you cook?
WHY?? why do guys ALWAYS ask this question. yes I can bloody well cook!!!! and no, I'm not cooking for you. arghhhhhhhh
I actually just automatically despise guys that think this is an okay thing to say to a woman. Why not get the social niceties out of the way and then ask in a sly way? I really cant comprehend it.
After that bombshell, it ended pretty quickly. I ate another samosa (size 8 I am not, honey) and just sat there in silence. This being man number 8, I was surprised by my inability to hold a conversation.
Little bit of background information, these meetings normally last at least 45 minutes. The longest one I've ever had is about an hour and a half, but todays was pretty short. It lasted just under 20 minutes.
also, we have a little code (myself and my brother). He asks me if I want any sugar in my tea- yes means give me a little longer, and no means..save me. If I say no, he knocks on another 5 minutes later and tells me to wrap it up.
This was actually the shortest meeting yet. I think he probably thought sod it, this isn't going anywhere and asked me if I had any other questions. I said no- cos I didn't. I just wanted to get the hell out of there to be quite honest, and he went okay then. Salams. I just looked at him in surprise, I thought that was actually pretty rude- he told me to leave :(:(:(:(. But yea..another failed meeting to chalk up eh?
